Joy Comes With The Mourning

We had a patient and family a month and a half ago who really impacted me and many of the nurses here. I have been studying the book of Esther and through that and this patient God really taught me a lesson in humility and trust.

Baby Hubert came to us as part of the baby feeding program we do. He was 9 months, but looked SO tiny and week and wieghed next to nothing. He stayed on the ward quite awhile and we all fell in love with him. It was so hard to watch his mamma just not seem to care about him...she wasn't motivated to feed him and you could tell the way she held him that the bond was just not there. It is hard to understand how this could happen. You see, he has been sick since he was born and he did not get the scars on his face like his siblings because his voodoo practicing parents were not sure they wanted to claim his life yet.

My friend Suzanne and I were on night shift together with him for awhile and enojoyed taking turns holding him. Even though he was so week and small he had such energy...he was a fighter. He was finally slowly putting on weight when he fell quite ill all of the sudden. He was diagnosed with malria and soon got a horrible rash, his heart starting beating quite fast, and lungs started getting stiffer and stiffer. He was soon moved to the ICU for isolation at first and later intubation(as we did not know what infection he had)/life support as his little body could not keep up with the infection.

Through this time there was so much prayer for him and the staff. Many of us kept wondering why this would happen...he was doing so well and then this happened. I felt like God would heal him...he had too...afterall, God brought him to this ship and we are a Christian ship that provides healing!!!!

Hubert did not make it. This was really hard for us to take and process. However, through this time there family was able to see how much we desperately loved and cared for Hubert and his family. His older sister Pauline was very distant when she first came and would not smile and did not seem to have a very stong bond with mamma either. As time progressed however you could see the change in her disposition and even her bond with her mom. Hubert's dad wanted nothing to do with him at first. And I was in the ICU with them one of the last few days Hubert was with us when his father asked me if he could hold Hubert and give him a bath! It was amazing to see the parent's hearts change and really care for and love Hubert by the time he passed.

Yes, Hubert's passing was very hard on us and the family. But through this God taught me once again that his plan is SO much bigger than ours. Hubert's life is precious and he was loved soo much by the time he went home to be with the Lord. But God had a bigger plan in this than healing Hubert. Through his life glory was brought to God and God's love was shown to him and his family.

This is where the book of Esther comes in. There was an edict made that all the Jews were going to be killed. At that time there was much desperation and mourning amongst them. God however, in his perfect timing and providence changed that and ended up protecting the Jews. He turned their mourning into joy...and in a way that only He could so that He would get the glory. He also used Esther and Mordacai to fulfill this...two common day people who probably did not aspire to be used or seem qualified. In the same way, even though God did not spare Hubert's life I know God had a plan for this. He turned mourning from Hubert's death into joy in the new family relationships/bonds that had formed and renewed. And the family who openly talked about their practice of voodoo was open to talking about God by the end of this.

Since this time the family has come back to the ship. Pauline was all smiles as was the husband and mamma. They are a new family. We can never understand circumstances or why things happen, but we have to look at the bigger picture and trust that God is faithful and works through all situations. Yes, we need to do our part in using our knowledge to provide care and pray against strongholds and pray for healing...but at the end of the day we need find peace in the fact that God is God and we are not. As it says in Is. 55:8-9, "For my htoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my thoughts higher than your thoughts." We also know that God does not willingly bring harm on his children: Lamentations 3:23-33, "Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men."

We have to place to judge why Hubert did not stay with us, but we can find peace that does know what He is doing and that He can use any situation to be glorified!