Home Again

It has been almost a year since I have left the ship. It is so good to be back! There is something about the ship..and Africa...no matter how long I am gone, it always just feels right to be back...like I am coming back home. I love that about this place. It has been great catching up with old friends. And since I was in Togo for the 2010 outreach it has also been fun to see all the translators and watch their faces as they do a double take passing me in the hallway followed by a big hugs. One of my really good friends, Ali (Wilks) Chandra was supposed to leave this past Friday to go home for maternity leave, but is staying a few extra days to be interviewed by 60 minutes so I am loving having some extra time catching up with her!

As for being back on the ward, it has been an easy adjustment and I am loving actually doing patient care for awhile. I enjoy doing charge nursing as well, but it has been a long time since I have just been a ward nurse and I have to say it has been quite refreshing! It is so good to be back to a place where we pray for the patients before each shift and has also convicted me of not doing this enough at home, even if it isn't with all the staff. I love being reminded of our limitations here with medicine and having to truly rely on our Maker and the One True God for wisdom and healing. In fact the first day back on the ward one of the patients went for surgery and came back to recovery in an odd state. She was jerking and not coming out of anesthesia as she should be. Five hours passed and she still was not waking up! It was now shift change and we bowed our heads and prayed to the One who has no limitations. Within5 minutes one of the recovery nurses cameo the ward with a big smile saying she has woken up and is completely fine. I think God often does this to remind us who is Really in control around here.

On a different note, one of the patients, Joseph, has had a tumor that has been operated on twice before. It is benin, yet keeps coming back. The doctors have decided surgery will do more harm and incur more risk than benefit, so we had to break the news to him and his grandmother that day. Clementine who is a ward disciples from Africa has been with the ship a long time and is the one who usually breaks this kind of news. The African culture is much different than r western way in this area. We are very straight forward about things and ethically this is the right thing to do in our western culture. However, as Clementine was saying, "In western culture, you take hope away. In Africa culture you give hope, not take it away.". In other words, even though the doctors do not think chemo will help at all, we sent them home with a letter for a local hospital to do chemo. It is better to give them this hope and not tell them it wil not work. Even if the boy dies in the meantime, they have that glimmer of hope to keep them going. If we had just told the boy there was nothing that could be done than we would have killed the boy and the grandma before they even left the hospital as Clementine said. I had gone to lunch and was told when I got back that Clementine had spoke to the patient and I could do the dressing change and they could leave. As I was doing the dressing change and teaching the grandma about doing dressing changes at home I soon realized there was a misunderstanding as I reminded her they were not getting surgery. The grandmother started crying along with the 12 yr old boy. She said, "what are we to do? He will just go home to die?". Talk about heart wrenching. Turns out Clementine had been called away and had not gotten to tell them yet. She was able to talk with them later, get them the chemo letter and they were doing much better with that extra hope. But still, it was hear trenching to see that emotion, so real, rightin front of me. Saying goodbye knowing unless God provided a miracle, that the boy was eventually going to die. Here, we have to live on the hope and encouragement we get from helping so many, because on days like this it is so easy to be discourage and ask why. In times like these you have to hold strong to the truth that God is faithful, he is in control and we will never understand certain things. This is why He is God and I am not. I am reminded of Lamentations 3:32, "Although he brings grief, he will show compassion, so gratis his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.". We live in a fallen world and sometimes it is harder to be reminded of that than others. In the meantime I will continue to pray for them as they journey home back to Ghana. In the meantime, we focus on the patients we have on the ward and continue to love each and every patient that comes into the ward. Some outcomes are much better than others, but God has handpicked each one to be here at that specific time. God continues to move and work, and it is such an amazing thing to be a part of!